Stuttering Heart
by Sayuhm
Summary: Max is the peppy gal with all the friends AKA Ms. Popular. What happens when a new kid comes along with a stuttering problem...When she stands up for him, will Lissa kick her off her thrown and take over? Go ahead and click on the title and read C:
1. Chapter 1

_**Stuttering Heart**_

_Wednesday_

"Hey Max!" JJ cheerfully greeted me as I met her at the school doors.

"Hey!" I said. I gave her a one armed hug as we walked into the school. People waved at us and said 'hello'. We were the popular people. Well, there are others, but we're the most known popular's—minus Lissa.

"Did you hear we're gonna get a new student this week?" JJ asked me. I nodded, chewing away at my granola bar. What can I say, Chocolate chip granola bars—any chocolate chip things get to me. They're my drug.

"Yeah, I think it was a kid from Virginia. I bet Lissa has all the deets on him. I heard from Shelia who heard from Jenny who heard from Lissa, that Lissa's gonna make her move on him. She told me that he's supposedly a hotty," JJ said. She was all up in the drama. She kept me updated on all that.

"Seriously? That's, like, what, the 5th new student that she's gonna get to go to bed with her?" I sighed, while jamming my books into my locker. I grabbed my books for math and my binder then closed it. JJ and I made our way to math through the crowds of kids running all over the place. One kid bumped into me, knocking my books out of my hand.

"What the hell?" I screeched at him. The eyes in his head popped out of their sockets.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-" But I cut him off.

"Didn't mean to? Then why did you run into me in the first place? Watch where you're going next time or you'll regret it," I growled at him. He nodded rapidly and took off down the hall as fast as he could. I picked up my books and patted down my hair.

"What a loser," I said. JJ had a look in her eyes that I couldn't place. All she did was look down and nodded. I flipped my hair and walked off to class with JJ trailing behind.

I opened the door and sauntered to my seat before plopping down with as much grace as the queen. I felt eyes on the back of my head and turned around. Sam was staring at me with lust in his eyes. I smiled mischievously and winked. He blushed but smirked.

"Max! Turn around and pay attention," Mrs. Shortis snapped at me. I turned around and said innocently, "Yes sir- I mean mam." I smiled widely and saluted her. She scowled at me and turned back to the board. I pulled out a piece of paper and scribbled in perfect writing: _Behind the bleachers after school. (;_ and folded it up. Wrote _To: Sam _ on the front and kissed it, leaving a pinkish mark before passing it behind me. He read it and scribbled something down before passing it back up.

_I dunno if I can wait that long, baby. How bout during lunch?_ I smiled at his eagerness and turned around, tossing the note that said _Nope, just gotta _wait. His face broke out into a grin and blew me a kiss. I caught it and pressed it to my lips. Math dragged by slowly until the bell dismissed us. I walked with JJ to the girls' locker room to change into our gym clothes. After we changed, we walked into the gym to wait for the coach. Lissa walked up to me with her twin sister, Brigid. They smiled and waved at me.

"Hey girls," I grinned at them. They responded and sat down next to us.

"So, did you hear about the new kid?" Brigid asked. I nodded.

"Well, just letting you know, he's mine," Lissa bragged. She was always trying to top me. In grades, physical activities, and popularity. She just doesn't know that she will never be the one on top. That will always be me and not her. Call me cocky, but I'm just stating the truth.

"Okay, quit your chit chatting and pay attention," the coach snapped. He was about 21 years old—22 tops. The school didn't know but he and Lissa went to bed the day he came. How do I know? I have my ways in the world. Lissa winked at him. He ignored it and went back to telling the class about today's activity. I guess it was a one time thing.

Lissa huffed and slouched in her seat. JJ giggled at her and tried to stifle it when Coach Greene warned her. Gym went on with Coach Greene telling us stuff about Health. God it was so boring.

_**SpaceBarsDontMatter**_

_Thursday_

Thursday went by slowly. The same thing happened. Get up, go to school, make fun of people, and etc etc. We couldn't wait to see what the new student looked like.

"Oh yeah, if he's ugly, Max can have him," Lissa said. We were some what friends. Okay, that's a lie. We are constantly insulting each other. Not in public, though. No, in public, we're bestfriends. It keeps us on top.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I questioned her, slightly scowling. They bring wrinkles, jeez. I shoved my books into my locker and made my way to the cafeteria with Lissa and Nudge.

"It means, Ugly plus Ugly equals true love!" Lissa squealed. What the...

"Then shouldn't you stick with him?" I retorted. Who would've guessed that Lissa knew math? I certainly wouldn't have.

"Ugh, shuddup, Max," Lissa scoffed, "You don't have to be jealous of me." She flipped her hair and grabbed a plate. She sauntered over to the salad bar and scooped some salad onto her plate. I eyed the salad before choosing the burger. I almost forgot about JJ. I didn't notice her behind me until she grabbed the greasy pizza. Lissa carefully stepped away from JJ, as if the pizza would give her calories and fat just by looking at it.

"Jealous of you? Seriously? What's there to be jealous of?" I rolled my eyes, "Am I supposed to be jealous, because you can eat leaves while I can enjoy greasy foods without getting fat?" She huffed and plopped down at our usual table. JJ sat next to me. She was staring at her pizza in deep thought.

Brigid came running over to us in her heels and threw down her half filled plate of salad.

"OMG! Did you hear?" She asked. She didn't wait for an answer and rushed out, "The new kid is coming today and not tomorrow!" Lissa spit out her "diet water" and choked. Brigid slapped Lissa's back, thinking it would help. Lissa ended up face plating her salad. She lifted her head and hissed at Brigid. She had Hidden Valley Ranch all over her face. I smothered my laugh with a cough. She turned to me and scowled. Wrinkles, dear, wrinkles. She got up and ran to the girls' bathroom.

"Quite the show," I teased. JJ cracked a small smile before going back to staring at her pizza. What's up with her?

"Well, he's supposedly coming today. Like, right now, today. As in-" Brigid was cut off by the cafeteria doors being pushed open. In walked a guy about 6'3 with olive toned skin and jet black hair. He had Onyx colored eyes to match. Lissa had just walked out of the bathroom. Her jaw slacked as she saw him, and she took off towards him. She stopped midway when she saw the kid that ran into me in the halls making his way to him. He put his arm around his shoulders and said something to him. The new kid smiled and said something back. The hallway kid looked confused before smiling wider and shuffling him to his group of friends.

"UGH! Did you just _see_ _that_?" Lissa screeched. I winced. " He's gonna become a loser!" Only she could think about him becoming a loser than actually meeting him.

"Talk to him if you're in a class with him," I said, getting up to throw my trash away. They followed me and did the same. We headed off to our next and last class for the day.

Lissa sat on top of her desk with Brigid, while JJ sat next to me and stared out the window. I sat and pulled out my travel kit of make-up. I picked up the concealer and added some more. When the new kid and hallway kid walked in, Lissa straightened up and hopped off the desk. You could hear some of the class groan. They were used to her flirting with every new kid.

Before Lissa could do anything, Mrs. Wagy walked in to teach science. "Alright! If you guys finish this last slide, you can have the last 5 minutes to talk and hang out." Everyone all of a sudden got the urge to write faster. Mrs. Wagy left the room to chat with Dr. Adkins across the hall. Everyone started talking. Lissa made her way over to the new kid as everyone started to quiet down.

"Hey," Lissa purred, "I'm Lissa." The hallway kid's eyes widened.

"Whoa, back it up. Lissa, let's not give nick here an STD on his first day of school," He waved his hands for her to go away. She ignored him and went back to flirting with 'Nick'.

"So, Nicky-poo, where are you from?" He looked up at her and thought about something before responding.

"I-I'm from C-Colorado-o," He stuttered. She smirked at him. She probably thought he was stuttering, because she was 'hot'.

"I guess I need to move to Colorado since all the cute boys are there. Well, not anymore, because you're here," She smiled at him. He let a little smile slip onto his face.

"T-Th-Thanks," He stuttered again.

"I know I'm all cute and stuff, but you don't have to stutter in my beauty," She told him. He looked confused for a second before replying to her comment.

"I-I'm not stu-stuttering, be-because I'm Nervo-ous," He said. Her smile fell and was replaced by a frown.

"You-you mean you stutter?" She screeched, "Ew! EW! That's so gross! Why did I talk to you in the first place?" Brigid nodded her head in agreement.

"Yeah, I mean seriously, who wants to date s-someone wh-who stutt-stut-stutters?" Brigid mocked. Nick's face fell. Iggy got a look of determination on his face.

"Hey, back off. No one asked you to come over here and say anything to him. Just leave him alone," He growled. Lissa scowled at him.

"F-fine, we-we're leaving, losers," Lissa said before walking away. The whole class was laughing except the victims and JJ.

"C-C'mon JJ, W-we need to-to go ho-home," I mocked and grabbed Nudge's arm as the bell rung. Lissa, Brigid, JJ, and I left the room without turning around.

"Can you believe a guy that loser?" Lissa complained, "He friggin _stutters!_"

"I know right?" I agreed, "Who knew he was such a pathetic loser." JJ cringed when I said that.

"Come on Nudge, we're going to be late for our Mani-pedi!"

"Uh...I-I can't come," JJ said, staring at the ground.

"Catching his stutters, are you now?" I taunted, "And why can't you come?"

"Actually, I don't think we should be friends anymore. I don't like the way you're treating Nick and the other kids at our school," She said boldly.

"_Excuse me?_" I hissed, "You did _not_ just say that. Since when did you care for other losers, JJ?"

"For as long as I've known you. Just leave me alone. I don't need you guys in my life to ruin it. I'd rather spend the next 3 years of highschool having fun and not trying to set an image that will only last me a couple of years." With that, she turned on her heels and walked in the other direction.

"Ugh, whatever," Lissa rolled her eyes, "She never really was popular material." We continued to walk towards the nail salon across the street from the school.

_**SpaceBarsDontMatter**_

_Nick_

I knew this would happen. I knew I would get picked on the moment I said something. That was how it always went. This was my 7th school that I transferred to. I was always bullied because of my stuttering. At first, I thought that Lissa didn't mind my stuttering, but then she started teasing me. Not to mention, her girlfriends jumped in to join the taunting parade. To top it off, the class busted out laughing...at _me_. At least this time I made a couple of friends: Iggy, Nudge, and Gazzy.

Only three, but the only three that I ever needed. The moment Iggy introduced me to them, they told me all about their problems. Gazzy had an over-active digestive system while Nudge was a talk-a-holic. Iggy was _obsessed_ with _bomb_. You heard it right, bombs. They didn't care if I stuttered of not. It didn't matter to them. They thought it was another color to add to my rainbow of personalities (Nudge's words, not mine).

Maybe I would make it through highschool this time, even if 97% of them were laughing at me. It took just that 3% to give me friends, people who I could trust not to point out my flaws and make fun of me about them.

I pulled out my brand new journal to write in. Mom thought it would be a nice way of expressing my feelings...that's another way of saying _'Son, you need a diary, counseling is too expensive.'_ Journal just makes it sound about a thousand times better.

_Thursday:_

_Today I made 3 new friends. They didn't care about my stuttering problem or anything. Actually, they accepted me, flaws and all. Maybe this time I wont beg mom to transfer me to a different school. Highschool sounds a little bit better now than it did the other 7 tries. I wish I didn't stutter, though. It would have made my life a lot better. Flaws are flaws. Thanks for listening journal. _

_Nick_

**So...how was it? (; Will update when I have time...even though it's summer heh heh, cut me some cake. Didn't like, just click the 'x' in the very top, right corner of this screen :D (or the back arrow at the very top, **_**left**_** corner!) **

**COME AT ME BRO! JK...felt like saying that haha**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Stuttering Heart**_

_Friday_

I tried to block my face as paper balls were thrown at me on my way down the hallways. Every since yesterday, word about my stuttering got out and spread like a wild fire. I tried to ignore it since it was only the beginning of the day, but it was pretty hard, seeing as though they're heartless enough to throw paper at me without a care in the world. While I was covering my face, I didn't notice the foot out in front of me. I tripped on it and fell onto my side. The hallway crowd started another round of laughter at me. I felt someone pulling at my arm and saw Iggy. He helped me up and led me to my locker.

"Don't worry about them," Iggy told me, "It's knew to them. When something else gets out, you'll be old news. All will be forgotten and you can be a normal kid—well as normal as someone in the flock can get." I cracked a small smile while getting my stuff out of my locker.

"T-thanks for he-helping m-me bac-back there," I whispered.

"Anytime for a fellow mate!" Iggy said to me. Iggy, Nudge, and Gazzy were pretty nice to me. I understand that they're my friends and all, but what if they turned on me? No, they wouldn't do that...if they wanted to, they would have already. But what if they just want to build up my trust and break it to pieces?

I shook my head. They wouldn't do that, and I know they wouldn't. They're my friends, and friends don't do stuff like that to other friends.

"Are you okay?" Iggy asked me worriedly.

"Y-yeah, I-I'm j-just thinki-ing," I stuttered. He nodded and patted my shoulder while glaring at the others for making faces at me. Once again, thank you god, for blessing me with such good friends.

He sat next to me in class. I didn't want pity and my friends knew that. They respected my request and acted as if I didn't stutter. The one thing that I hated was that the teachers didn't listen to me and acted as if I was a handicap 4 year old that couldn't speak English. That coming from a teacher, made me feel worse than what the kids did to me. I thought the teachers were supposed to stop the bullying and not join in.

Class began, but I didn't pay attention, because A) the teacher wouldn't call on me because of the stuttering, B) I knew everything she was talking about, and C) remember? I'm the handicap foreign 4 year old. I just pulled out my journal to write another page.

_Friday:_

_The kids made fun of me today. They threw paper at my face, and someone tripped me. It was the worst thing that has happened since I came here. It was only the second day, but my brand new friend, Iggy, stood up for me. He helped me up and glared at all the people that made faces at me. I am truly blessed to have at least 3 good friends that aren't afraid to be judged for standing up for me. Journal, I am thankful for my friends, but I am still confused. What if they're just building up my trust to break it down and shove it in my face? I don't know what to do. Thanks for listening, journal._

_Nick_

I finished writing the page just as the bell rang. I grabbed my stuff and kept my head down. Iggy was next to me, walking me to my other class to make sure nothing happened to me. After walking me to class, Iggy left to his own class, not caring that he was 4 minutes late.

I didn't have any of my friends in this class. I made sure to sit in the very corner in the back next to the window. I didn't want to have to see people staring at me when I turned around. I stared out the window before I got a waft of perfume in my nose. I turned to see the girl that had teased me from yesterday.

I admit, she was beautiful, even with make-up covering her face. She had beautiful blonde-brown locks that fell down her back and stopped mid-way. Her eyes were creamy chocolate brown with flakes of blue in them. Her skin looked flawless, no pimples, zits, or break outs. It looked smooth, so smooth that I wanted to reach out and—what am I talking about? She's a bully, a cold-hearted person who has the need to put down on anyone who is different from her.

She turned from laughing with her friends. When her eyes landed on me, she stopped laughing and glared at me.

"Wh-what are y-you look-looking a-a-at," She mocked. I growled under my breath and turned away. She laughed with the others that heard the conversation. Great. She's my sitting buddy for this entire year. That sucks. Well, it's my life...it wouldn't be the same without the 'suck' part (**TWSS).

I pulled out my journal to write another page in it.

_Friday (2)_

_Dear Journal, I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I do. This girl, the one bullying me. She's physically beautiful. She has flawless skin, and her hair can't decide on whether it wants to be brown or blonde, yet it falls perfectly down her back. I shouldn't feel like my breath was taken away. I know I shouldn't, but every time I look into those creamy eyes of hers I seem to be endlessly drowning in its river of chocolate. Time seems to slow down when I look at her. Whether she's mocking me or just laughing at my problems and flaws. She wears make-up even though she doesn't need it. She is utterly beautiful...but how can I say all these stuff about her if I don't know her name. Not to mention she's apart of my personal KKK mob group. She's out to break me. To break whatever spirit I have left in wanting to live—which isn't that much. Well, it wasn't that much until I met my friends. I think I'm in love. It's obviously stupid to fall for my attacker. The one out for blood. _

_Journal, I can't explain it any simpler than this: I'm head-over-heels for this girl, but she can't be mine. Whether she chooses to or not. She's a monster on her guard, ready to maul anything in her way, or just to please her pleasure. I'll never find true-love with someone like her, someone barely trying to attack my barriers, but is obviously tearing it down with ease. _

_I _need_ to forget about this. But I can't. Or I don't want to. Even if I tried 120%, I wouldn't succeed. Not even 1%. My life sucks. I can't, or wont ever, find true-love. Someone who will love me for who I am except my 3 friends and mother. It's sad actually. Once again, thanks for listening journal._

_Nick_

I slammed my notebook close when I noticed that _she_ was leaning over to look at what I had.

"I need to copy your notes, give them to me," She hissed, trying to pull my journal from my hands. I moved it out of the way before she could even touch it.

"I d-don't h-have the no-notes," I whispered back.

"Whatever, you could have just said no if you didn't want me to copy them. You didn't have to lie about it. I know you have notes; you've writing in that notebook the entire class period, smart one," She rolled her eyes. That was the first thing she's said without mocking my stuttering. It surprised me but I shook it off and kept on a blank face. I've accomplished the best poker face throughout my years of being bullied.

She huffed and crossed her arms, turning back to the front of the class. Who knew she actually cared about her grades. I wouldn't have thought she had time for studying and taking notes between all her bullying and insulting. Actually, if someone told me that, I probably wouldn't have believed them.

The bell rung, signaling the end of class and the beginning of lunch. I got out of my chair and walked to the cafeteria, trying to cover my face with my hair but still showing enough for me to look for Iggy and the others. I grabbed a tray and slid it down the tray rail. There was only won pizza left. I reached for it the same time as some one else did. When we touched a zap trickled up my arm. After that, I felt someones soft, warm hand on mine. I turned and saw that it was sitting-buddy next to me.

"Oh-uh...I-I'm s-sorry," She stuttered, but not purposefully making fun of me. I pulled my hand back and let her grab the last pizza while I grabbed a burger.

"Thanks," She whispered as she passed me to a table with her friends. She spared me one last glance before turning all the way around and joined the table's conversation.

I walked around, looking for the others. I saw them in the corner of the room.

"H-hey guys," I greeted them.

"Hey there Nick!" Nudge chirped. Gazzy and and Iggy nodded in my direction. They were distracted by the ball of wires in front of them.

"W-What's that?" I asked them curiously.

"It's their latest death contraption," Nudge informed me. I nodded and bit into my burger.

The day went on with a little bit of mocking or a little bit of taunting. Iggy was right. The news about my stuttering was starting to die down, well to the normal kids they did, but not for the popular kids. They wouldn't drop the fact that I had a stuttering problem. It was like they've never heard of a such thing called 'stuttering'.

Mom greeted me as I stepped into the door of our house. I told her I had homework and headed upstairs to write in my journal.

_Friday(3)_

_This is my third, and last entrance for today. During lunch, sitting-buddy touched my hand. I don't know if it was a good or bad sign, but I felt a zap. I know I need to stop. I will stop. I have to stop thinking about her. I am determined not to fall in love with the leader of my KKK hate-group. From now on, she's nothing but another bully. _

_Iggy and Gazzy started another bomb. I'm surprised they finished that complex looking one from yesterday already. I guess I know who to call when I find a bomb under my pillow or under my bathroom sink. Night and thanks for listening Journal._

_Nick_

**Yeah? No? Like? Don't like? Haha, I tried to do it more in Fang's POV rather than Max's. I will switch between different POV's! (: hope you liked it! And for those waiting on noh ss!w to be updated heres the news: **

**I think that Naomi and I should split up the story, her version my version. I don't know if she wants her own version, but I really wanna update for the readers. Naomi's too lazy to actually write with me, so I'm just gonna do it on my own! (: It may not be as professional as chapter one, but its my style of writing...which isnt professional and all big worded lol.**

**Also, I need to know if A) you guys want me to do requests for stories/one-shots and B) you guys want little 'get to know you' questions in the bottom A/N's. Thanks for reading! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**So...it's been forever, yeah? I'm feeling bored, and very cripple (Tell you down at the bottom A/N). And so I feel like writing. Let's see how this turns out, shall we? C:**

_**Stuttering Heart**_

_Thursday_

"Shut up, you retard! Do you want to get caught? Goddamn," I growled at Brigid. She clamped her mouth shut and glowered to herself. I rolled my eyes and sighed before continuing to pick the lock.

_Tink._

The lock popped on the door and creaked open. I peered inside and immediately noticed the book I was looking for. _Not such a good idea to hide it in here, huh? _

I grabbed the leather bound book before shutting the locker closed. Brigid looked around to make sure the security guard hadn't rounded the corner yet. When she gave me a thumbs up, I quickly did a 360 to make sure she didn't miss anything and headed towards the nearest exit. The sign glowed a bright red above our escape. I quietly pushed open the door and waited for Brigid to slip out before slowly letting it close with a small _click_.

"So, who's locker was that?" She asked me. Her blue eyes flickered from me to the door.

"No one important," I shrugged and headed towards my car, leaving her to find her own car in the dim lighting of the parking lot.

…

_Friday_

As the bell rang, signaling the end of 4th period and the beginning of lunch, I headed to the lunch room with Lissa and Brigid in tow. Once we were in the cafeteria, I looked around for an empty table. When I saw one in the middle of the room, I headed over to it.

I stepped up onto the stool and carefully lifted myself onto the table top. _Don't do this, Max. _I ignored the voice warning me. I cleared my throat, trying to get everyone's attention. (Keyword: trying)

I yelled out, "Hey! Shut up! I have something important to say." People finally pulled their gazes from their friends and looked up at me. I gave a smug smile, knowing I had control over them. "Alright, so I happened to find this interesting book I'd like to share with you all. I'm not sure what's in it, but I guess we'll find out, huh?"

I looked around and spotted Nick and his friends looking my way. I made sure to make eye contact with Nick while I pulled the journal out from behind my back. The book was leather with the words _Diary_ scratched out and replaced with a scrawly mess that read _Journal_. Nick's eyes widened and so did my smirk. I turned to Lissa and asked her for a bobby pin to pick the tiny lock that kept the thing shut tight.

I spent a few seconds jiggling the pin into the lock and heard it click open. I flipped open the cover and turned my head towards Nick's table again. I flipped to the more recent pages (Last entry two days ago).

"_Dear Journal,_

_Today the kids at school were ruthless. They haven't seem to let go of the fact that I stutter. I hate how they can't just grow up and leave me alone. Not only did I have to endure paper balls to the head, but during 2__nd__ period, I was pelted with spit balls. I'm actually used to the tripping now. It would probably scare me if I wasn't tripped everyday._

_Anyways, my sitting buddy, she's amazing as always. I can't get over her at all. It's amazing that she __can take my breath away just by glancing at me. It's impossible to just ignore her. Her name is –" _

"Hey, Maxie, shut up!" I looked up and saw some black girl next to Nick glaring at me. I glared right back, pissed off that she had cut me off during the juiciest part. "Why can't you just leave him alone? What has he ever done to you?"

"He's breathing my air. Wasting it, more like it," I spat at her.

"Wasting it? Calm down. You have enough air in that head of yours to last you ten other life times!" I gasped. For once I was at a loss for words.

"Yeah?! Well, at least I deserve those life times! Denial isn't just a river in Egypt."

She smirked at me. She knew she had won this, "Oh, wow, nice comeback. How long did it take you to come up with that?"

I blushed furiously. "You know what? It doesn't matter how long it takes me to come up with anything, I'm still more popular than you are!"

"Reputations can only last you for oh-so-long, Maxie. Just go sit down and play dress-up with your make-up, Barbie. Better yet, try eating it; maybe it'll make you prettier on the inside, too."

_Told you so..._

I was so embarrassed. I could feel my face burning red. I screeched before hopping off of the table and ran into the bathroom. I slammed the door shut and twisted the knob shut. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I choked back a sob and slid down the wall, pulling my legs up to my chest.

"_No one likes you..."_

"_Go die in a hole. You're worthless..."_

"_You're a disgrace to mankind..."_

"_You shouldn't be allowed to live..."_

"_Bitch..."_

"_Good for nothing..."_

"_I guess being lame comes naturally for you, huh?"_

Everything that I'd ever said to everyone I didn't like –for no reason— came back to me in a rush. It flashed through my head with full on hatred and disgust. Each line that I'd ever said seemed like it was directed to me.

I whimpered and flinched every time I said something horrible.

"_Born a monster, forever a monster..."_

I gasped, choking in as much air as I could. I couldn't breathe; I couldn't move; I couldn't do anything...I _wasn't_ anything. But a monster. A horrible _thing._

I held my head tightly in my hands, gripping my hair harder than before. I couldn't take it. Flashbacks seemed to go by without stopping. One by one. They made my barriers fall.

"_Ha-ha! Look! It's Max."_

"_Gross! Don't even look at her!"_

"_Hey, Orphan-girl!"_

"_Mistake!" _

_The swing next to me blew back and forth, squeaking. The sound seemed endless. But so did the taunting. I felt the tears trickle down my cheeks. I rapidly tried to wipe them away, releasing the chains of the swings and falling on my knees. My knees stung, but I didn't care. I curled up and cried. And cried and cried. It seemed like the only thing I could do. _

"_Hey." I looked up to see a brown haired boy about my age._

"_H-hi," I croaked. He smiled at me and offered me a hand. _

"_Why so sad?" He frowned and tilted his head. I shook my head and tried to wipe my face clean of the tears. _

"_The-The kids are mean," I hiccuped before continuing, "t-to me. I hate it. They never leave me alone. I have no friends...no one likes me."_

_I looked down at my shoes and toyed with my fingers before I shyly looked up, "Will...Will you be my friend? Please..."_

_He continued to frown, "Wait. You're that orphan girl! Gross, I can't believe I touched your hand!"_

"_Please..." I wimpered._

_He shoved me hard onto the swings before running away. _

_I fell backwards onto the plastic seat and fell forwards onto the ground. The tears came back, harder. They wouldn't stop. No matter what. _

_The river of tears never seemed to go away. They always came back. My body shook with the hard contractions in my lungs. My breath came quickly and I kept hiccuping. I turned and ran. I ran all the way back home and pushed open the door, slamming it behind me. _

_Mom came into the hallway, wiping her hands on her apron._

"_Baby, what's wrong?" She knelt down and pulled me into a hug. "Shh, Shh. Baby, what's wrong."_

"_I wan-want my mo-mommy. I want m-m-my mom-my."_

"_I'm right here, sweetheart. Right here." I jerked back from her touch like it burned me. I screeched in her face._

"_NO! Noo! I want my real mommy. I want _my_ mommy! Not you! Where's my mommy? I want my mommy! No! Where is she!? Why isn't she here?" I was still shaking, and my throat was scratchy, but I continued to screech. She reached out to me, but I backpedaled quickly, back hitting the stair rails. "Why doesn't she love me? Why can't _I_ be loved!? Huh? Am I a monster?" _

"No, no one can love a monster." I wiped away my remaining tears and pulled out my phone. _2:35PM_.

The students would be in 7th period right now, so I opened the bathroom door and rushed out of the bathroom and into the parking lot. I started up my car before speeding home, ignoring stop signs and speed limits. Once I pulled up into my drive way I ran into the house and up into my room. After throwing my back pack to the ground, I fell onto my unmade bed and curled up into a ball, trying to grab all my pillows to cover me, surround me, _hide me_.

_Born a monster, forever a monster. _

_After Thanksgiving week. _

I honestly didn't feel like going to school. I hadn't gotten out of bed except to get the occasional bread and water or to use the restroom. I had been in a pair of sweat pants and tee-shirt, compared to my usual designer clothing. I was in dire need of taking a shower. I felt dirty and sticky.

_But that's how monsters feel..._

I looked into the mirror and stared at my reflection. Blood shot eyes. Bags under them. My hair looked greasy and dull. I could see that my face was oily.

I looked horrible. But of course, why shouldn't I look horrible if I act horrible? I deserve this. My eyes flickered to the clock. _6:53AM_. I slowly dragged myself to the bathroom and started warming up the water for a shower that I should have taken last week and the days after. I reeked.

I stood in the shower for about forty-five minutes just scrubbing down my hair and repeating it. After I was sure I didn't smell like overdue Chinese take-out, I hopped out of the shower and slipped into a pair of clean track sweats and a random tee-shirt. I threw on a pull-over hoodie and some ratty converse I haven't worn in forever. I was only 7:40, so I had about 20 more minutes to kill before I would head out. I jogged down the stairs and went into the kitchen to grab a Hefty bag from one of the drawers and ran back up to my room. I threw open my closet and started shoving all the designer clothes I owned and stupid heels into the bag. I wanted to get rid of this fake person I was before. I was gonna change.

After clearing most of the clothes, I tied up the bag, grabbed my backpack, and headed out. When I was almost at the school, I saw the near by Good-Will box and and shoved the bag into it.

_Good riddance. _

I was at the entrance of the school. I took a deep breath before yanking open the doors and ignoring the stares I got from people. Once I was at my locker pulling out the books for 1st period, Lissa ran over to me and screeched in my ear.

"_WHAT_ are you _wearing!?_"

"Piss off." I continued to shove books around and grabbed the last book I needed. The leather bound journal.

"_Excuse me?"_

"I said 'Piss off'. Now move," I shoved her out of the way and made my way through the hallways to my next destination.

They were in a group together. They were sharing laughs. It was obvious they had flaws, but they didn't care. Those were real friends. I wondered if I would ever have any. I started their way. When I was at a good ten feet distance, they tensed up.

The kid I had ran into in the hallways weeks ago stepped up and glared at me.

"What do _you_ want." He snarled at me, baring his teeth like a guard dog. I rolled my eyes and pulled the journal out of my bag.

"I wanna talk to Nick."

"Why, so you can torture him even more? You don't ever get enough, do you? You and your little wanna-be friends."

"Whatever. I just want to talk to him."

"No, no, you should stay away from him. Don't want him _wasting your breath_. It'd be a shame if you ran out of air."

I winced at what he said, but I knew I deserved it. "I just want to talk to him for a second. Please."

He seemed to notice how desperate I was, because he sighed and let me walk past him. Nick's friends backed up a little, out of ear shot but could easily see us.

Nick looked a little terrified. I sighed and sat next to him. I could feel him slowly edging away.

"I...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done what I did. It- It was horrible. I just wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have broken into your locker, and I shouldn't have read your privacy to the public. I feel like a total bitch, which I am. No kidding. And I wanted to return this to you." I handed him the journal and started to get up. I gave one lingering glance behind me before heading to 1st period.

…

I couldn't believe it. She apologized. My sitting-buddy apologized. And she seemed sincere about it. The others came back towards me once she was out of sight.

"What did she want?" Nudge asked me. I shrugged.

"Sh-she apologized to m-m-me."

Iggy scoffed at that. "Apologized? It was probably a bet or something. Just forget about it."

"Sh-She seemed so-o sincere, though."

They still had suspicious looks in their eyes but ignored it.

The day went by slowly. And my sitting-buddy didn't say a word to anybody the whole day. Even during lunch. She sat in a corner, secluded from all the others. She ignored everybody and everything around her. Not because she thought she was better than everyone, but because she just didn't feel like talking. I feel like she's changed. For the better.

She was like a whole other person.

…

_Born a monster, forever a monster. Born a monster, forever a monster. Born a monster, forever a monster. Born a monster, forever a monster. Born a monster, forever a monster. Born a monster, forever a monster._

_Born a monster, forever a monster._

Round and round. It kept flying through my mind.

**Okay...so that was it. Hope you liked it. And about my crippleness earlier...So my best friend's birthday was yesterday. And we went rollerskating for her party. Like the person I am...I didn;t know how to skate. But neither did most of them. So I kept falling on my butt. 4 year olds were speeding by me and doing tricks like skating backwards and junk...and so my butt is all sore. My dad is calling me a handicap grandpa. Its pretty bad. And during laser tag, I got a blister that peeled away my skin on my middle finger. Totally worth that though, I got 1st place! BOOYAH! And then I burned my index finger making a grilled cheese sandwich. So I'm forever crippled. Not really but yeah. It was pretty fun. And my butt hurts lol. So yeah...Bye C:**


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